TOS051 Facing Finals Session II: What Do You Leave Behind & Preplanning Your Funeral For audio TOS051: Facing Finals II – What Do You Leave Behind? & Preplanning Your Funeral | Listen Notes
Join Patti Brunner and Truth of the Spirit guest Dc. Clarence Leis for Facing Finals Session 2: What Do You Leave Behind? & Preplanning Your Funerals. Many of us are heading into our senior season. In the winter of our lives it may be more difficult to complete various tasks. Take up those challenges and chores and see how completing your own tasks can benefit others. Yet even as one season ends the new is upon us as we reach for eternal life. What do you leave behind? What do you want to hand on to others? How has the paths of others affected you in the journey of life? Would you want others to follow your footprints? Now is the time, before time slips away, to walk in the paths worth following.
The steps you must take to prepare for “final days” are similar for everyone. Deacon Clarence Leis has experience in helping people preplan their funerals to reduce the strain on those left behind. As you work on your planning, and share it with those you will leave behind, it helps us to recall that this mortal life will pass away. See the blog at PatriarchMinistries.com for “87 Things that Must be Done by the Survivor” and other practical suggestions.
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“We are gathered here today because God created us for eternity with Him. As He placed us within time, He gave us each a vocation to know, love, and serve him in this life as we prepare to be with Him forever in the next. Sometimes we get bound by time. Our habits and routines allow us to forget that this world is quickly passing away for us. As we recall that one day is like a thousand to the Lord, it is also true that a thousand is like one day! As we face our final days consider that today may be your last. If yesterday had been your final day, is there anything you would have done differently? You may not have a tomorrow. But this, this is the day the Lord has made. Are you ready for your final day? How’s your Bucket list going?
What do you leave behind? What do you want to hand on to others? Are you leaving a mess behind? Are there tangles that can be smoothed by you? How has the paths of others affected you in the journey of life? Would you want others to follow your footprints? It’s not too late today to have a little path correction, a “re-calculation”. Ask the Lord to help you. Ask your Mother, Mary, to show you. Now is the time, before time slips away, to walk in the paths worth following. The steps you must take to prepare for “final days” are similar for everyone.
Are you avoiding making plans because you want to avoid thinking about death and dying? The Lord told me that people who fear death when it is near is an unprepared soul. Most key moments of our lives take effort and preparation: Graduation, Weddings, Moving from one place to another, Retirement and so does death. Working through some of the chores surrounding death helps us, not just to prepare for funerals and legacies, but help us to contemplate eternal life and overcome the fear of transition from this world to eternity.
Peace of mind comes when your affairs are in order. What does this mean to you? The transmission of worldly goods to descendants or friends means a sitting down and contemplation of who should get what. Do not forget that your most prized possession is your faith and relationship with God. Have you left a witness of this for others?
Have you given a portion of this legacy –your faith and relationship with God—to the living? How can you enrich this legacy? Who is still waiting for a share? If you have children or grandchildren or other family members living outside their faith, do you pray for them every day? Prayers make a difference! There is a tremendous flow of grace at death from the “bank” of your prayers. Throughout life we are called to tithe on our income, our time, and our talents for the benefit of those who are not family members but part of the Body of Christ. What will you leave them? Certainly you can bequest a portion of your assets to the Church. How about sharing a portion of the richness of your Catholic faith with the Church’s younger generation? Contemplate those riches. Sharing them causes them to multiply. Have you ever offered to take someone to Mass who needed a ride or brought them Communion?
What is your legacy to the poor, to the unchurched, to the community of believers? How have you or can you enrich these lives? When was the last time you made an effort to change conversation towards Christ and away from things that will pass away like sports and the weather? Do you have clutter of useful stuff in your house that could be given away and used by someone needy? When you see someone in pain, do you offer to pray for them and then stop what you are doing and pray?
A ship upon the ocean seems to silently slip into the night as it sails beyond the horizon leaving only a ripple. What ripple or footprint on the world will you leave behind? Will anyone know you have gone? I have read a lot of obituaries that have made me sad, of the departed whose activities are rooted in the world. I read one about a person buying hundreds of shoes for their closet. She didn’t realize that shoes didn’t make beautiful feet. Paul understood this when he wrote to the Romans in chapter 10 verse 15 “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring [the] the good news!” The Gospel!
Consider the footprint of Jesus, of the apostles, of teachers, parents and pastors. How has their footprints affected you in the journey of life? Would you want others to follow your footprints?
Why—or, why not? Now is the time, before time slips away, to walk in the paths worth following. It is easier to see the failings of those immediately before us than to see our own. Yet, if we are following their path we may be in need of course corrections. Adjust your course now, before time slips away. What course correction will you make before time slips away?
Remember our generation will pass away like all the generations of the past. Yet we have been given a gift, if we would receive and welcome it, of eternal life. Time is shorter for some more than others, yet no one knows the day and hour except the Father who ordained Time in human existence on earth. What comes later is the participation, through redemption, in the fullness of the presence of God forever. In Him who created time there is no time but eternal life.
Dc. Clarence Leis – “Facing your Mortality by Pre-Planning Your Funeral”
Today we have with us Deacon Clarence Leis to help us face our mortality. His own recent brush with death gives him a special prospective for us. He has lived in our community since the beginning of Wal-Mart. He is experienced in helping people pre-plan their funeral working for a season with Roland’s Funeral Home. Deacon Leis was ordained a deacon on April 24, 1993 and he and his wife Betty have been married over 60 years. Please help me welcome Deacon Clarence Leis!
[Note: Deacon Clarence Leis handed out planning material provided by a local funeral home. Similar material is available from financial planners. Please also note that we are not trying to give legal advice. Consult a professional for all legal questions.]
87 Things That Must Be Done by the Survivor
The main purpose of this section is to call attention to the 87 decisions that must be made by a survivor after a death. By making these important decisions now, you can minimize the emotional strain that will be placed on your survivors. . [Items with * indicates details that can be planned or pre-paid ahead of time]
A. Secure Vital Statistics (Required for burial permit)
- *Name, home address and telephone #
- *How long in State
- *Name of business, address and telephone #
- *Occupation and title
- *Social Security #
- *War Veteran Serial #
- *Date of Birth
- *Place of Birth
- *U.S. Citizen
- *Father’s name
- *Father’s birthplace
- *Mother’s maiden name
- *Mother’s birthplace
- *Religious name (if any)
B. Pay some or all of the following:
- *Family burial estate
- *Memorials
- *Funeral director
- *Interment Service
- Clergy
- Florist
- Clothing
- Transportation
- Telephone and telegraph [social media]
- Food
- Doctors
- Nurses
- Hospitals and ambulance
- Medicine and drugs
- Other current and urgent bills (mortgage or rent, taxes, installment payments)
C. Collect Documents – Required to establish rights for Insurance, Pensions, Social Security, Ownership, M Relationship, etc.
- *Will
- *Legal proof of age or birth certificate
- *Social Security card or number
- *Marriage license
- *Citizenship papers
- *Insurance policies (life, health and accident, property)
- *Bank books [CDs, checkbooks, account #; list survivorship]
- *Deeds to property
- *Bill of sale of car
- *Income tax returns, receipts or cancelled checks
- *Veterans discharge certificate
- *Disability claims
- *Memorial Park Certificate of Ownership
D. Decide and Arrange Within a Few Hours
- *Burial estate location and which space to open
- *Memorial type and inscription
- *Casket type
- *Clothing for decreased
- *Vault or sectional crypt
- *Type of service (religious, military, fraternal)
- *Special selection from scriptures
- Clergy to officiate
- Which funeral director
- *Place where service is to be held
- Time for funeral service
- *Decide name of charitable organization to which donations are suggested in memory of deceased
- Providing information for eulogy
- Select names for pall-bearers
- Flowers
- *Music
- Clothing for you and children
- Preparation at home, including food for family and guests
- Extra chairs
- Transportation for family and guests, including planning funeral car list
- Checking and signing necessary papers for burial permit
- *Providing vital statistics about deceased to newspapers
- *Providing addresses and telephone #s for all interested people
- Answering innumerable sympathetic phone calls, messages, wires[social media] and letters
- Meeting and talking with funeral director, cemetery representative, clergy about all details
- Greeting all friends and relatives who call
- Arranging for meeting relatives who arrive from out of state at airport or railroad station
- Providing lodging for out-of-town relatives
- Make list of callers and floral tributes sent for mailing card of thanks
- *Arranging for special religious services
- *Check Will regarding special wishes
- Order death certificate
- Look after minor children
E. Notify as soon as possible
- The doctor or doctors
- The funeral director
- The memorial park
- All relatives
- All friends
- Employer of deceased
- Employers of relatives not going to work
- Casket-bearers [Pall bearers]
- Insurance agents (Life & Health & Accident)
- Religious, fraternal, civic, veterans organizations, unions
- Newspapers regarding notices
- Attorney, accountant or executor of estate
Reflection Points
Peace of mind comes when your affairs are in order. What does this mean to you?
The transmission of worldly goods to descendants or friends means a sitting down and contemplation of who should get what. Do not forget that your most prized possession is your faith and relationship with God. Have you left a witness of this for others?
Have you given a portion of this legacy [your faith and relationship with God] now—to the living?
How can you enrich this legacy?
Who is still waiting for a share?
Throughout life we are called to tithe on our income and talents for the benefit of those who are not family members but part of the Body of Christ. What will you leave them?
What is your legacy to the poor, to the unchurched, to the community of believers?
How have you or can you enrich these lives?
A ship upon the ocean seems to silently slip into the night as it sails beyond the horizon leaving only a ripple. What ripple or footprint on the world will you leave behind?
Consider the footprint of Jesus, of the apostles, of teachers, parents and pastors. How has their footprints affected you in the journey of life?
Would you want others to follow your footprints?
Why? Or, why not?
Now is the time, before time slips away, to walk in the paths worth following. It is easier to see the failings of those immediately before us than to see our own. Yet, if we are following their path we may be in need of course corrections. Adjust your course now, before time slips away. What course correction will you make before time slips away?
Write one story about yourself that you want to hand on to your family or to others.
Added to this information are some things to do after the death of a loved one. The following list of “To do” is compiled from our experience. Hope you find it helpful.
Thank you notes (for addresses check local phone book, address books, Christmas card list, florist, church)
Stipend to minister, music
Arrange for Masses for the deceased
Put thank you note in church bulletin
Return dishes
Lawn care
Forward mail –PO will forward 1st and 3rd class for 6 months. Use change of address of forwarded mail and for important items not forwarded within the 6 months.
Check expiration dates of insurance on car and house, (notify change of beneficiary until transfer of ownership). Arrange for “vacant house” after policy expires
Discontinue cable, phone, cell phone, newspaper,
Note other utilities. Turn water heater off or to “vacation” But may want to keep on until house sells—unless need to winterize house.
Empty Lock Box at bank. Check for will, Check for Estate Planning.
Check house deed, other real property, may need to probate it,
Retain attorney (not required but is good when real property needs to be transferred).
Present will and death certificate in probate court and petition for “letters testamentary” giving the executor the legal right to act for the estate
Check cash assets to pay funeral costs
Collect any money due, pay debts, keep accurate records of both
Tombstone
Check if joint or beneficiaries on stock, bank accounts, IRA, CD’s, Savings
On IRA: check if deceased received a required minimum distribution for current year
Rollover IRA to beneficiary for “life” distributions; note that the choice to receive a larger balance for distribution is available and can be done later but be aware that all distributions for IRAs are taxable to recipient except for Roth IRAs.
Check bank account for automatic draws and deposits to discontinue or allow
Do not divide cash assets until final expenses paid: including health costs, funeral, legal, outstanding credit card debt, utilities, insurance,
Notify: Social Security, pension, (check pension info for life insurance) life and health insurance, supplemental health, burial insurance, Union. Or Fraternal organization
Close credit cards accounts
Return any library books
Note trash day
Remove perishables, plants, animals
Unplug appliances, especially refrigerator after emptying
Remove electronics, jewelry, silver, other valuables for safe storage
Remove check books, important papers
Leave some furniture to show house. (make list of who will take items or plan donation)
Clean house and maybe carpet, minimal renovation
Check for storage units, check attic, etc.
List house for sale as soon as show-able
Divide heirlooms. Donate clothing and “leftover items”
File final tax return
Distribute assets to the heirs
Return to the probate court with an accounting of the actions taken and request that the estate be closed.
