A unique Life in the Spirit session that shares the impact of Experiencing God’s Love. Truth of the Spirit with Patti Brunner and Patriarch House Formation brings you Deacon Ronnie Hoyt. Dc. Hoyt was ordained Nov. 17, 2012. This is week 1 of Life in the Spirit Seminar. For audio player, YouTube video link or script, please continue reading.
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[Patricia White] Let us all begin with a prayer. In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. O Lord Jesus Christ, as we make this Life in the Spirit series, may we adore the brightness of your purity, the might of your love, You are the strength and the light of our souls. In You we live and move, and am. Mercifully guard us over every thought and grant that we may always watch for your light listen to our voice and follow your gracious intentions give us grace O Holy Spirit, Spirit of the Father and the Son, to say to You always as everywhere, speak Lord, your servant is listening. Amen.
[Patti Brunner] Welcome to Patriarch House and the Life in the Spirit. We are real excited to have this ministry. It’s been a while. We closed down the house for Covid and now the Lord is saying, [click] “It’s time to go. So, we are real excited about that. The Life in the Spirit is a series of talks and witnesses that will help you to be open to the fullness of God and to also to recognize the fullness of God that is already within you, and to be able to share that with one another. So, each week we have a different theme, and we’ll have different speakers. I would now Deacon Ronnie Hoyt to come up. And Deacon Ronnie is going to talk about “Experiencing God’s Love and the Fruits of the Holy Spirit.”
[Dc Ronnie] Thank you Patti. I will use your scripture readings.
God is Love. It is something I’ve known in my head my whole life. I have read that many, many times. In fact, I’ve read these passages many, many times. But I was 37 the first time I knew that God loved me.
I went to Catholic school, grew up in a, went to Church every week, received all the sacraments, uh, but God didn’t touch my heart; I didn’t allow God to touch my heart until I was 37 years old. And so, when I asked Patti about this, she said we are invited to talk about it, there are many people who know in their head how much that God loves them but have truly not experienced God in their life. And when she said that to me, it just flooded upon me because I can’t tell you the number of times I said in situations like this, when people said, “When did know that God loves you?” I made stuff up. I could not admit to myself that I did not know God good enough to be able to share an experience with God love me. I have learned in my ministry over the last ten years that I am not alone on that, that many people have not experienced God’s love within their hearts. Many people, and sometimes we say it’s just the youth –I’ll tell you that I know people that’s 90 years old and still had not experienced the love of God. And so, I appreciate the opportunity just to be able to be here, to share a few thoughts that have been sitting with me, ever since Patti asked me to be here tonight.
And I talked about this once, or part of this once, before at daily mass, but the television series “The Chosen”, that had a tremendous impact on me; it was very moving in my heart, as they depicted the re-telling of the Gospel of Matthew. Now they didn’t have all the facts exactly as the bible has it but the message was the same. And it’s when the series opened with the story of Mary Magdalene, who was freed from the demons and healed by Jesus. She was healed from incredible pain and loneliness in her life, and she suffered both morally and physically. But when Jesus healed her, everything changed. She never looked back on her past.
And this healing encounter was not by chance. God chose that day to go, for Jesus to go, see Mary Magdalene and heal her. He searched her out. And it’s at that moment where he claimed her for God. He called her by name, and he poured out this love and mercy upon her that changed her forever. And then we fast forward from that encounter to the Gospel of John on Easter morning, the Easter account, the tomb is empty. Mary Magdalene cries. Her face bathed in tears. She needs Jesus; she had gone there to be consoled by being near to Him, to keep Him company, because without our Lord, nothing is worthwhile. Mary perseveres in prayer. She looks for Him everywhere. She has no other thought but of Him. At first, Mary doesn’t recognize Jesus. She perseveres in her eagerness to find Him. When she hears her name spoken with a very personal tone, that Jesus uses with each one of us, when He calls each one of us, by name, it was then and only then that she recognized her risen Savior.
And so, what changed in Mary Magdalene’s life, after that healing, loving encounter with Jesus, in the Chosen Series Mary Magdalene was asked that, and she could only respond in one way. She responded by saying, “I was one way and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.” His outpouring of mercy and love—this encounter changed everything for her. Probably for the first time in her life she experienced; she allowed her heart to be open to experience love of God and she knew for the first time how much God loved her. And so knowing how much God loved her it gave her the strength to go out, to be a disciple of Jesus, to tell others about Jesus, to care for others, it’s a journey, she set on a journey I’m sure that she had never could have imagined; a journey that led her to heaven, Saint Mary Magdalene.
And so, in might be hard, I know it is for me, when Patti asked me about this, I thought “Oh gosh, life in the Spirit, okay.” It might be hard for some of us to put into words but there’s one thing that all of us can know for sure when we truly experience in our heart God’s outpouring of love—everything changes.
It will awaken the graces that all of us received at our baptism when God chose us as his son or his daughter; He called us by name, and He poured within us the Holy Spirit who now lives within us. It’s only when we experience the love of God in our lives that that awakens, that gives us the strength then to push away the things, the temptations of life, the things that our human nature desires and causes us to only want to follow Jesus. Experiencing God’s love is what leads us to live a life that’s more loving, that’s more joyful, that’s more peaceful, that’s more generous, that’s more kind, more faithful, gentle and full of self-control. All of these are fruits of a life lived in the Spirit
Several years ago, I participated in a Confirmation Retreat with our youth. And it was Friday through Sunday and on Friday night, it was interesting. None of the kids wanted to be there. They were all just ‘talking, talking, talking’; none of them wanted to be there. They weren’t paying attention and there were very few—not even people in the front row that were really engaging in the conversations that were being held but on Saturday night all that changed. I witnessed something that will stay with me forever. It was an experience of God’s love that changed me as well as them. The Saturday night began with a silent skit. The whole room was darkened and on the stage there were three spotlights. One spotlight was on a person who was dressed in black. One spotlight was on a person who was dressed in white and in the middle of the stage this spotlight was on a young boy, maybe 13 or 14 years old. The person dressed in black represented evil, the devil. Person dressed in white represented good or Jesus and the skit began. The person dressed in black, evil, was throwing temptations at this young boy: throwing money, throwing drugs, throwing alcohol, all the things that our kids are faced with. And the boy was tempted, and the devil got aggressive and started yanking on the boy towards him, throwing the money in their hand. And Jesus sat—the person dressed in white—sat there. And he would, the young boy would—turn back and look at Jesus but then he would turn back and look at the man dressed in black and finally the man dressed in black took him and he chose to follow the devil. But Jesus never left his side. He still kept looking back at Jesus. And Jesus the whole time kept looking on him, with eyes gazed upon him, with his arms wide open until finally that young boy torn loose from the Devil and ran into the arms of Jesus.
The skit continued; the night continued. Of course, this skit of black and white was meant to help the youth see the spiritual warfare that goes on in our lives and the struggles that each of us experience when we turn away from God. But God never leaves us; He never stops loving us even when we leave him. But immediately after that skit, the room remained darkened, and the spotlight moved to the Blessed Sacrament on the altar. And the Lifeteen band began to play, and they played for the next hour. And one by one these 125 kids at the retreat, 13- and 14-year old’s, got up and went to Confession. Some of them returned in tears but all of them came back and knelt before Jesus and then one by one each of the youth went over to the side to what appeared to be a chalkboard, and wrote something on the board, and then came and sat down. And so, once all the kids had gone to confession the spotlight moved to this chalkboard. And on this chalkboard were written words. They were written by the kids—were words such as: selfishness, anger, pornography, worthless, disrespect, suicide, drugs, cutting, fear, shame, lust, hatred, alcohol, unloved, lonely, anxiety. And as you just read through the words, music playing, and the band began to sing this song. And the song is called, “You Are More”[i]. Now I’m not going to attempt to sing this, but I would like to read some of the words from this song. So, if you would just please close your eyes.
“There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide
She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”
But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try
But don’t you know who you are?”
“You Are More”[i]
And at that moment water began dripping from the top of that chalkboard, slowly washing away all of the words that the kids had written,
“’Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you,”
the song continued.
“This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you new (loved).
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.”
“You Are More”[i]
It was amazing. The kids began to hug each other, these same kids that weren’t paying any attention to anything just one night ago. They began to hug each other as Jesus was processed out of the room and you couldn’t help it, I certainly couldn’t, tears were just streaming down my eyes because in my heart I knew that for most, for many if not most of those kids, that was the first experience of where they knew that God loved them. And it changed them. Experiencing God’s love is what changes you and I to live a life that’s more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more kind, more patient, more generous, more faithful, more gentle, and able to exercise self-control and moderation of all things. All of these are fruits when we live in the life of the Spirit.
It’s remarkable to me that how relentlessly scripture preaches the Gospel of love. You can go anywhere in the Gospel or the Bible and open a page and on nearly every page we’ll see a statement or example of God’s love for us or a reminder for us to love another. In his first epistle Saint John teaches us how God’s love for us and our ability to love others are intimately linked. We love because God first loved us. We hear in 1 John Chapter 4, “Since God loves us, we can love others and when we love others we fulfill the law.”
So, we read it in the Bible, over and over. I think God knows that we’re going to continually try to make it into something that we can do or something that is our will; but God keeps reminding us through scripture that it comes only from Love. He keeps reminding us and for God to love us as deeply as He does for most people seems too good to be true. But God assures us that it’s not. God’s love is relentless; it is passionate. And it’s absolutely real; it is everything. But we know this in our minds. All of us know this in our minds. But many of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, we have not entered into the deepest intimate relationship that God desires for us to have. That’s why life is a journey. It’s why many of the saints did not get there until the very end of their lives.
It’s a journey. I mentioned before, it was a long time before I experienced God’s love for me the way I know He desires it. While I knew that we’re supposed to love God and that God loves me, my mom told me that every day. And I desperately wanted it to be true. But I truly didn’t feel it. Because deep down, I imagined that God’s love was something different. I imagined it was something like more of God’s approval of how I was living out my life; not that He loved me first. I saw it as it was God ‘approved’ of what I was doing.
It wasn’t until October 1999, I was 37 years old, and I had signed up to go to the Cursillo retreat in Little Rock. And I had signed up for it two times before, the two prior years. Both times I backed out of going and I tried to back out in October of 1999. Also, I remember I was at work. I worked at Wal-Mart, and I called Sue Jason. She was the person hounding me. And I called her and I’m like, “Sue, sorry, I am so busy at work, I can’t go.” Of course, she tried to encourage me to go but when she found out she wasn’t going to be able to she said, “Okay.” She goes, “But I need you,” we didn’t have cell phones at the time so I couldn’t take the easy way out, and just text! So, she said, “I need you to go up to church because Pete’s in the parking lot waiting to meet you there and he’s going to drive you there. So, I had to face him and it’s different when you have to do it in person, just like it’s different when you have to open up your heart to God as opposed to just thinking something in your mind. It’s a lot different. And so, I did drive over there, and I reluctantly went. Like those Confirmation kids but then I thought, “Well, it’s only three days and then it’ll be over. I’ve been dealing with this for two years and Sharon asked for it for Christmas.” “For Christmas I am going to go to Cursillo.” You go husband then wife, or we did. And so, I went.
Immediately I felt totally out of place there. I didn’t want to be there. And I kept asking, “Why am I here? I don’t want to be here. Why am I here?” Thank God it was, the first night was silent. At least I didn’t I didn’t have to talk to anybody. The second night, late in the night, I went to adoration, all by myself. I hadn’t been to adoration many times in my life. And I knelt down and Jesus was like three feet from me. I just stared there. I didn’t know what to do. And I, you know, I tried not to say just the rote Catholic prayers because I really wanted to ask God, “Why am I here?” So, I did. And I just waited. And then something happened. It just, it’s like an outpouring of
God’s love over me and my body began to shake and then the next thing I remembered is Jesus holding me in his arms, telling me He loved me. 37 years old, the first time that I knew that Jesus loved me changed everything for me. Everything, things that I’ve been holding on, things that were important to me, it didn’t happen overnight. It was a journey, but I began to let it go. I began to talk to God about it. First time in my life I asked God, “What do You want me to do? What’s your will for me?” Up until then, my whole life was trying to live out what I thought was best for me, best for my family, and not God’s will.
Many years later I, I never thought I would be up here speaking, crying like a baby. But it turns out that God had a different plan for me. And, of course, I fall short all the time. But I never doubt that God loves me. I just desire to go deeper in love with him. Because experience God’s—experiencing God’s love that night calls me, helped me to open my heart that I could be more loving; that I could be more joyful, less critical. I could be more generous. I could be more kind. I could be more faithful. It was only because of that.
I was totally lost, and I had no idea. A lot of people are like that. There are probably people in this room that are like that. It’s what I didn’t know. I didn’t know how God loved me. I thought I was being a good person. I was being a good person. I just wasn’t in love with God. Because I didn’t know how much He loved me.
And I think we all know that it’s not just in the Sacraments, and/or on retreats, that we experience God’s love. It’s all around us. Because once our hearts and our eyes are open to God’s love, we see it everywhere. And you can tell who’s living in the Spirit just by watching them, just by watching them you can tell. They’re experiencing God’s love in nature. They’re experiencing God’s love in scripture and prayer. They’re experiencing God’s love in relationships with people.
St. Augustine once said[ii], “Look above you! Look below you! Note it. Read it. God, whom you want to discover, never wrote that book with ink. Instead, He set before your eyes the things that He had made. Can you ask for a louder voice than that? Why, heaven and earth shout to you, “God made me!”
God has surrounded us with the beauty of nature in order to come to know Him and to enjoy the fruit of his creation. What a blessing it is to be a witness to a sunrise or to observe the animals He has populated the earth with; yet God loves you and regards you as even more precious. He made people in His image. Therefore, it’s amazing to consider that as much care that went into creation, even more care went into you.
It’s wonderful when we experience God in nature; it’s also wonderful when we hear God speak to us. I remember being told by someone that there was a person who asked God, every day, “I want to hear your voice.” God spoke to that person in time, in God’s time. Scripture is a way for us to encounter God’s love in a very deep way, every day, but not if we ‘read’ scripture. Somebody once told me that the bible is not a history book; it’s a love letter from God to you. It’s God taking the time to share with you His thoughts, His desires, his plan for you.
Now, Sharon and I, when we dated, we wrote lots of love letters together. We didn’t have cell phones; it was 40 years ago. I didn’t have the money to make a long-distance call. And we wrote letters. And we saved every one of those letters. We have them in a box. We have them in our living room, because they are living words between us. And when we fight, or if we are fed up with each other, many times throughout our marriage, we’ll pull out one of those letters just to remind ourselves, “Now, why are we here again?”
The bible offers us a beautiful way to spend intimate time with God. But we have to listen to God. In your handout that has our closing prayer for my talk, there’s a letter that God has written to you[iii]. And don’t open it; it’s yours to spend time with—when it’s just you and God. And everywhere you see the word “you” just put your name, because it’s God’s letter to you. Straight out of the living Word of God. And if you have never done it before, or if it’s been a long time, try writing God a love letter back.
You’ll be amazed. I hate to journal. Patti is a great journaler. But I journal all the time, because I am amazed at what the Holy Spirit allows to come from my heart, when I am willing to write. So, I would encourage you to sometime this week to enjoy your love letter from God. And consider writing him back.
So, each of us, we have our own story that we try to explain and share. But sometimes, the best we can do, is this: “I was one way and now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.” So now I would invite you all to join me in the closing prayer for this talk. It’s on your handout with the envelope.
And let us pray together[iv]:
“Oh, Lord my God, You called me from the sleep of nothingness merely because in your tremendous love You want to make good and beautiful things. You have called me by my name in my mother’s womb. You have given me breath and light and movement and walked with me every moment of my existence. I am amazed, Lord God of the universe that you attend to me and, more, cherish me. Create in me the faithfulness that moves You, and I will trust you and yearn for You all my days. Amen.”
Other Useful Information:
Homework to prepare for next week:
Pray each day this week: “Lord, please let me know how much You love me.”
Read: Acts of the Apostles Chapter 2
References on handout:
Catechism of the Catholic Church #733 ““God is Love” and love is his first gift, containing all others.”
Romans 5:5 “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
1 John 4:9 “In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.”
Galatians 5:22-23 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Small Group Questions for Session One of Life in the Spirit Seminar
Experiencing God’s Love & Fruits of the Holy Spirit
- Please briefly introduce yourself and tell us a little about yourself. (How long have you lived in the area? Which service do you regularly attend?)
- Please tell why you came tonight and what you hope to gain from this Life in the Spirit.
- How has relationship with God affected your life?
- What did you hear in the talks that impressed you the most?
[i] You Are More. Tenth Avenue North. Songwriters: Jason Ingram, Mike Donehey.
[ii] St. Augustine of Hippo. De Civitatis Dei, Book XVI
[iii] Letter from God. Isaiah 43:1-7
“But now, thus says the LORD,
who created you, Jacob, and formed you, Israel:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name: you are mine.
2
When you pass through waters, I will be with you;
through rivers, you shall not be swept away.
When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned,
nor will flames consume you.
3
For I, the LORD, am your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your savior.
I give Egypt as ransom for you,
Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you.
4
Because you are precious in my eyes
and honored, and I love you,
I give people in return for you
and nations in exchange for your life.
5
Fear not, for I am with you;
from the east I will bring back your offspring,
from the west I will gather you.
6
I will say to the north: Give them up!
and to the south: Do not hold them!
Bring back my sons from afar,
and my daughters from the ends of the earth:
7
All who are called by my name
I created for my glory;
I formed them, made them.”
[iv] Prayer by Joseph Tetlow, SJ
