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“Healing the Family Part 5-Relationships”, Truth of the Spirit with host Patti Brunner. Lack of relationship causes families to crumble; how is it repaired? Work as hard as you possibly can, to bring Jesus and his Way into your relationship. How? This episode, using the Lord’s advice, takes a look at the virtues, the beatitudes, the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. You are called to generously spend your time, talent and treasure with forgiveness and the love shown by Jesus. And one person at a time the family and the world will be healed.
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Who is it difficult to talk with in your family? Why? Is it something you did or didn’t do? Was it caused by judgment of something or someone else? Have you lost contact because of busyness or laziness –even in your own household? Can you find the image of God on both sides of the relationship?
What has kept that from happening?
We continue with our series “Healing the Family Part 5-Relationships”. You are listening to Truth of the Spirit; I’m your host Patti Brunner
Just because paths have taken different directions the instant communication of modern media allows for a common meeting ground. When was the last time you prayed together? Or found a common need for prayer? Perhaps you are very aware of a strained relationship with a family member. What are you willing to ‘spend’ to repair it? And I am not talking about purchases in the marketplace.
Lack of relationship causes families to crumble and affects your Church because it affects the Body of Christ. In Luke’s Gospel 12:51-52, Jesus said to his disciples: “Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three”. Division comes to families who aren’t on the same page when it comes to the freewill choice to love God above all things.
What is your relationship with the Living God? How has it changed over the past years during your relationship with your family? Isn’t it time to get on the same page? You do not live in a vacuum. If you do not fill in the gaps in your relationships with your family with God something else will—to the detriment of the family.
Reach out and, holding the hand of the Son of God, work as hard as you possibly can, to bring Jesus and his Way into your relationship. How? The Lord’s advice to us is to: Look at the virtues, look at the beatitudes, look at the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and then generously spend your time talent and treasure with forgiveness and the love shown by Jesus. And one person at a time the family and the world will be healed.
If you are like me, a cradle Catholic, you have probably been exposed to the lists of the Cardinal virtues, the beatitudes and the works of mercy, but perhaps you have never considered them as a remedy to heal the relationships in your family. The glossary of the Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a virtue as “a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It takes work on your part to attain these and bring healing to the relationships in your family. The moral virtues are acquired through human effort aided by God’s grace. There is that “work” concept again, “human effort”! Catechism Paragraph #1803 says, Virtue “allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. Are you giving your best? The virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.” Then the Catechism says, “The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.” Oh my. Have you become like God? To bring healing to your family relationships: “Bind your mind and heart to God. Fill your heart with love and praise. When the abundance of the heart speaks do not let it be full of cutting remarks.
The most important human virtues are called “Cardinal Virtues”. Not Cardinal like the bird or the baseball team. Cardinal comes from the Latin word “Cardo” that means these human moral virtues are pivotal; they are vital. They are “good habits” of thought and will that guide our conduct in accordance with reason and faith. These Cardinal Virtues—there’s only four of them–are: prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.
“Prudence means being careful and sensible, to your needs as well as others. God gives us all common sense.” –To help us with this one. What you think and say in private affects the public. Know this: do not be double minded. Train your mind and mouth toward graceful grace-filled comments. Work at this. As you exercise you are strengthened. Encouragement can do wonders—much more than criticism.
Justice consists in giving to everyone what is his due, for doing what is right or “as it should be.” Justice calls us to honesty and integrity. Justice also keeps us from curses and judgments against members of our own family even when they upset us. We may also need the help of virtues of Temperance and Fortitude during those moments. Our family has the right to our blessings and the surrender of our selfishness.
You will get what you give. This biblical principal is proved in the tithing concept but it is also true in the healing of the family. ‘You reap what you sow’. Sometimes the consequences of our past sins are made present today by the effect upon those we have influenced as a family member. You can hear more about that in the episode about the “Healing the Family (Part 2) -Generations”. And so, here’s that “work” concept again. The moral virtues are acquired through human effort aided by God’s grace.
Fortitude is the strength of character that enables a person to endure pain or adversity with courage. Other words for fortitude might be endurance, strength, or perseverance. Fortitude is the virtue that battles murmuring, depression, or despondency when times are tough. It also limits irresponsibility and rashness. Rashness will get us into trouble, and so will irresponsibility. These are limited, limited by this virtue, fortitude. Prudence and justice are the virtues through which we decide what needs to be done; fortitude gives us the strength to do it. We also can have supernatural fortitude given as a sacramental grace of Confirmation.
Temperance is the virtue that attempts to keep us from excess; it requires the balancing of appropriate goods against our inordinate desire for them. It cuts off addictions and bingeing. It keeps us from going overboard. You can see in your own lives how we fall into the pit. How can you pull others out of the pit when you jump in?
These human virtues are available to all, yet we fall short and our families are affected. The Lord understands this, thus He grants spiritual tools to overcome these effects when you turn to him for help. God give us gifts of the theological virtues of Faith, Hope and Love. These gifts are infused by God into the souls of the faithful to make them capable of acting as his children and of meriting eternal life.
Catechism paragraph #1813 tells us that “The theological virtues are the foundation of Christian moral activity; they animate it and give it its special character. They inform and give life to all the moral virtues. They are the pledge of the presence and action of the Holy Spirit in the faculties of the human being.”
As we struggle with relationships in our family, human virtues—like Prudence, Fortitude, Justice and Temperance—and the theological virtues—of Faith, Hope, & Love—help us to identify our issues, battle our weaknesses and point us in the right direction and keep us on the right paths.
Jesus taught us the Beatitudes during his Sermon on the Mount about the meaning and way to true happiness. These teachings reflect the promises of God and they portray the countenance of Christ. [#1720] The New Testament uses several expressions to characterize the beatitude to which God calls man: the coming of the Kingdom of God; the vision of God: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”; entering into the joy of the Lord; entering into God’s rest: “There we shall rest and see, we shall see and love, we shall love and praise. Behold what will be at the end without end. For what other end do we have, if not to reach the kingdom which has no end?”
[#1718] “The Beatitudes respond to the natural desire for happiness.” The Catechism tells us that: “This desire is of divine origin: God has placed it in the human heart in order to draw man to the One who alone can fulfill it. We all want to live happily; in the whole human race there is no one who does not agree to this proposition, even before it is fully expressed.” The Beatitudes shed light on the actions and attitudes characteristic of the Christian life; [#1719] “The Beatitudes reveal the goal of human existence, the ultimate end of human acts: God calls us to his own beatitude.” And then to help us there’s: [#1724] The 10 Commandments, “the Sermon on the Mount, and the apostolic catechesis describe for us the paths that lead to the Kingdom of heaven. Sustained by the grace of the Holy Spirit, we tread them, step by step, by everyday acts. By the working of the Word of Christ, we slowly bear fruit in the Church to the glory of God.”
Next, let’s consider when you yourself are the family member in most need of healing. What is your recourse? If you have a pain—you seek the cause and discontinue the course of action that aggravates the pain.”
As you struggle with a relationship, stop and examine that relationship with the 8 Beatitudes and find your happiness as you find direction: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.
The Catechism tells us that [#1726] The Beatitudes teach us the final end to which God calls us: the Kingdom, the vision of God, participation in the divine nature, eternal life, filiation, rest in God. [#1728] “The Beatitudes confront us with decisive choices concerning earthly goods; they purify our hearts in order to teach us to love God above all things.” —then everything else falls in place. [#1723] “The beatitude we are promised confronts us with decisive moral choices. It invites us to purify our hearts of bad instincts and to seek the love of God above all else. It teaches us that true happiness is not found in riches or well-being, in human fame or power, or in any human achievement”—no matter how many awards your children win; it will not be your happiness—“however beneficial it may be—however beneficial it may be—or indeed in any creature, but in God alone, the source of every good and of all love…”
The next tool the Lord points out to us are the works of mercy. The Church explains that the WORKS OF MERCY are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of others in their bodily and spiritual needs. It may seem like it should go without saying that each family should operate under the corporal works of mercy towards each other. The corporal works include feeding the hungry—and if you’ve ever had teenagers around you know what that one is like—, clothing the naked—especially teenage girls, visiting the sick –sometimes those kids run a fever don’t they—, and imprisoned, sheltering the homeless, and burying the dead. But there can be stress-filled times that families need the help of others for the provision of these basics. The Catholic Church and various other charitable organizations reach out to families with these basic needs. The structure of a family is generally built around these corporal works. However, I think the real key in problems of today’s families develop when there is a shortage in the family of the spiritual works of mercy. Spiritual works of mercy include instructing, advising, consoling, comforting, forgiving, and patiently forbearing.
Generously spend your time talent and treasure with forgiveness and the love shown by Jesus. Forgiveness has shown up in every episode of this series on “Healing the Family”. It is a key to all healing. Jesus died on the cross for forgiveness for our sins. He paid the price for the wages of sin which was death because loved us. Honor his sacrifice by forgiving those in your family. The very first podcast I hosted on Truth of the Spirit was “Finding Peace when Time Causes Chaos”. Everyone has the same number of minutes in the day. Healing the relationships in our family requires us to spend that precious time with focus on the spiritual works of mercy. I encourage you to teach your family to surrender their will to the Holy Spirit. Teach them by word and example. That means you surrender your will to the Holy Spirit.
So, reach out and, holding the hand of the Son, work as hard as you possibly can, to bring Jesus and his Way into your relationship. With God all things are possible for those called to his purposes. . And He has called you to this. Look at the virtues, look at the beatitudes, look at the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and then generously spend your time talent and treasure with forgiveness and the love shown by Jesus. And one person at a time the family and the world will be healed.
You’ve been listening to Truth of the Spirit. I’m your host, Patti Brunner. I invite you to subscribe, it’s free, and subscribing makes it easier to come back next time for the Truth of the Spirit’s series: Healing Your Family, because there’s more. With the Holy Spirit, there’s always more! Amen.
Note: Other episodes referenced include “Finding Peace when Time Causes Chaos” of the series “Working Through the World’s Chaos to Find Supernatural Peace” and “Healing the Family (Part 2) – Generations” of the current series.
