TOS052 Facing Finals Session III: Preparing for a Happy Death and Eternal Life For audio TOS052: Facing Finals III – Preparing for a Happy Death and Eternal LIfe | Listen Notes
Join Patti Brunner and Truth of the Spirit for concluding Facing Finals Session 3:Preparing for a Happy Death and Eternal Life. Saint Anthony of Padua wrote that “Nothing is more certain than death and nothing more uncertain than the day and hour of our death.” Sue Yarbrough taught children, “The happiest day of your life is the day you die and get to go to heaven!” In this Facing Finals episode of Truth of the Spirit, Patti Brunner shares that a happy death does not mean an ‘easy’ death. In fact death surrounded by great suffering can still be a happy death.
Suffering in this world is not rejection by God. Suffering began by man rejecting God. God so loved the World that He sent his only son to suffer and die in this world so that we could have the opportunity to never suffer again for all eternity—and the person who repents shall live forever in joy. This journey of life is not geared toward a momentary “payoff” like presents on Christmas morning. The joy lasts forever for those called to the table of the eternal banquet in heaven. And it starts with a happy death: A death in friendship with God, a death dwelling in God’s grace. Included on the blog on Patriarchministries.com are some of the bereavement services offered by St. Vincent de Paul Church in Rogers, AR.
Blog:
Good afternoon, Welcome to Facing Finals. My name is Patti Brunner and I am a facilitator of the Truth of the Spirit and here at Patriarch House. We provide spiritual formation for Catholic adults through speakers and use podcasts on the internet to share the Good News throughout the world. This is the third and final session of Facing Finals.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraph 1007, says “Death is the end of earthly life. Our lives are measured by time, in the course of which we change, grow old and, as with all living beings on earth, death seems like the normal end of life. That aspect of death lends urgency to our lives: remembering our mortality helps us realize that we have only a limited time in which to bring our lives to fulfillment”. Then the Catechism quotes from Ecclesiastes, chapter 12: “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth . . . before the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.” Eccl 12:1, 7.
We are gathered here today because God created us for eternity with Him. As He placed us within time, He gave us each a vocation to know, love, and serve him in this life as we prepare to be with Him forever in the next. Sometimes we get bound by time. Our habits and routines allow us to forget that this world is quickly passing away for us. As we recall that one day is like a thousand years to the Lord it is also true that a thousand years is like one day! As we face our final days consider that today may be your last. If yesterday had been your final day, is there anything you would have done differently? You may not have a tomorrow. But this, this is the day the Lord has made.
Saint Anthony of Padua wrote that “Nothing is more certain than death and nothing more uncertain than the day and hour of our death. The great folly of worldlings consists in putting the thought of death far from them, and acting as if they were to live forever.” The apostle Paul had the right attitude about death. He wrote in Philippians chapter 1, “Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.”
When my friend Sue Yarbrough taught the children at our parish school, she told them that “The happiest day of your life is the day you die and get to go to heaven.” One of the little boys in her class spent a lot of time with his grandfather, they were best friends. When John Rex found out that his grandfather had died, he ran all the way to his house, burst in, and shouted, “This is the happiest day of grandpa’s life!” This happened almost 20 years ago and the family continues to share the comforting story.
How happy were the deaths in your family? When I was very young, my dad was thrown out of his vehicle during a car wreck, and died in the hospital in Memphis a few days later. My memory of being told that he died was some one sitting on the bed and telling us children, and crying. I was in the second grade.
A few days before my mother-in-law Patsy died, she had been in the hospital where they discovered a heart condition but she was released and sent home, and Rick and I had taken our children to the city to a movie. When we returned to her house we found out she had died. Her death shocked me into numbness.
My father-in law had beat one sort of deadly cancer with treatment, and then was attacked by lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking, drinking and self-centeredness. When they operated they realized the cancer was inoperable. When my father-in-law Maurice died, it was no surprise.
When my mother died, she had battled cancer for years and had been bedridden for a short time in great pain. At the end she was frustrated by her inability to talk. She needed constant care.
None of these seem like happy deaths, but let me tell you a little more about them.
In the weeks before my dad’s car wreck, he decided he would start RCIA classes in the spring and become a Catholic. Even though he was in a coma, the priest took that decision as a desire for salvation and baptized him on his death bed in the hospital. Straight to heaven! Happiest day of his life!
When my mother-in-law’s heart stopped she was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. Although she could not be revived, a priest was available to give her the last rites. She was a woman who loved others unconditionally. She was loved unconditionally by God.
My Father-in law’s fear of dying led him to repentance. He even had a spiritual experience on his deathbed a week before he died. And when we held hands and prayed in his room, we were filled with joy as we felt the power of God. Several moments after his death, I saw his spirit rise from his body with a big smile on his face. A year later both Rick and I had spiritual conversions, triggered, I think, by our prayers for him.
After the wonderful experience at my father-in-law’s death I expected more of the same when my mother died several years later. That’s not the way it was at all. It was stressful. My mom taught bible study and volunteered all the time, but she was miserable her last few days. There was some comfort in the Anointing of the Sick by her parish priest, and her family praying at her bedside, living the petitions of the Our Father by forgiving and asking forgiveness. But I saw and felt no beauty as she drifted away. Her painful death bothered me for quite some time.
I quizzed the Lord about this as I prepared for this series. He shared with me that a happy death does not mean an ‘easy’ death. In fact death surrounded by great suffering can still be a happy death. He told me to look to the martyrs: Their suffering did not keep peace from entering their souls; to look to the death of Jesus: He did not have an ‘easy’ death.
When you have experienced clouds and storms in your life, periods of darkness and struggles, pain and suffering, your view point is narrow and so close that you don’t see the beauty that these “clouds” reveal. As each struggle turns your face to God for help, they are part of your beautiful palette. When you look at these at a distance, like a sunset, you see the power of God surround you and breaking through like the sun which shines beyond the clouds. Did you know that clouds are limited to the earth’s atmosphere? There are no storm clouds in space. But there are no beautiful colors in space surrounding sunset. Stopping and taking in the beauty of a sunset can give you a “God moment”. Whenever you see a beautiful sunset, your mind and heart is not racing to experience the next day. Preparing for death can be just as beautiful as that sunset. If you notice, clouds enhance the beauty adding colors and shades, reflections and streams of light breaking through. This is the case, too, of preparing for a happy death.
Now, the enemy’s ploy at this time of your life is to distract you with frivolous things of leisure. He also is aware that your body is preparing you to let go of the world. Satan, your enemy, chides you for your pains, discomforts and accumulated diseases and deceives you toward self instead of uniting these final sufferings with the suffering of Jesus before his death as a way to prepare for eternity. In this way you are able to share also in his joy and peace. Learn this lesson well! Suffering in this world is not rejection by God. Suffering began by man rejecting God. God so loved the World that He sent his only son to suffer and die in this world so that we could have the opportunity to never suffer again for all eternity. —and the person who repents shall live forever in joy. Saint Leonard of Port Maurice wrote that “Bodily ailments are ordained by Divine Providence to strengthen the health of the soul.” He said, “God sends them to us that we may detach ourselves from the world. [to] Remember we are mortal, and so withdraw from the dissipation of the world to thoughts more useful and holy.”
Find a way to call your suffering a blessing as it prepares you to be received into the fullness of the Kingdom of God. Rejecting God at this stage of your life due to pain and suffering could open your soul to eternal torment of the pain and suffering of hell. Pain and suffering help you to let go of this life. Watching loved ones suffer also helps those left behind to let go of them; death brings an end of the suffering we can see. Does this mean you should not seek healing? Of course not! Jesus ministered to those with physical infirmities. We are happy to see repair and recovery but let this be an example for you. Let your body teach you about your soul. The healing of the body takes effort. But the preventative measures are also very important. The medical profession says, “You don’t want lung cancer? Don’t smoke!” Jesus’ words as he did his final preparation for his passion are: “You don’t want to be condemned to hell? Then do for the least ones when they are hungry, thirsty, a stranger, naked, ill or in prison; thus you do unto me.” (Matthew 25:41, 45, 46) You can read all about it in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 25.
“‘Amen, I say to you, what you will not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ And these will go off to eternal punishment; but the righteous to eternal life.”
A person who has rejected God gets no relief from their suffering. A person who hates God freely will spend eternity with pain. These things seem a little shocking, don’t they! God sent prophets who have written whole books in the Old Testament to shock the people with truth starting with the prophet Amos. Amos’s message stands as one of the most powerful voices ever to challenge hypocrisy and injustice. He boldly indicts kings, priests, and leaders.
But shocking people works on very few people even when it is the truth. God’s people would not listen to Amos, his prophet, but rather turned to have their ears tickled and delighted by lies.
Lies tell us that money, power and ‘stuff’ bring happiness.
I heard this story about two brothers who were part of an organized crime family. Everyone in the community knew how often they were involved with murder, drugs, and corruption. Their crimes were a public scandal. One of the brothers got caught in a shoot-out and died. The other brother went to the priest and offered to fund a new roof for the church if at the funeral he would tell everyone that his brother was a saint. The priest pondered it, he knew he couldn’t judge the man’s heart in his final moments, and the church really needed a new roof, so he agreed to call the brother a saint at the funeral. At the funeral, the priest shared the public knowledge about the deceased: he bribed a federal judge, he drowned puppies, he sold drugs to children, and in the shoot-out he shot three others before he himself was killed. The brother is sitting there about to explode. Seeing the brother’s reaction, the priest comes over and puts his hand on the brother’s shoulder and says, “But compared to his brother here, he was a saint!”
Have you ever heard people say they just want to make the purgatory bench? They don’t want to go “all in” for God but just do enough to keep out of hell. “Fire insurance” is the level of most people in the pew. Like life insurance it is not really expected to be used or needed. After all they consider themselves “good people”—not drowning puppies and so forth. Each act of mercy surely brings the big reward. The Catechism #1054 says that “Those who die in God’s grace and friendship imperfectly purified, although they are assured of their eternal salvation, undergo a purification after death, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of God”. Yet, recall the scripture of the narrow way in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 7:13-14 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.” The prophet “Amos”, after shocking the people with total destruction because of their sins, then added the hope of God’s promise to restore everything one day and provide a Messiah.
Consider this: When Baptism cleans the slate of all sin, this foreshadows the entry of the ‘purged’ soul and heart into the heavenly kingdom. Yet few remain in this perfect state after being washed by the Blood of the Lamb on earth. Each day, through free will, you may accept or deny the Lord a hundred different ways. His grace is sufficient for the narrow path, yet many fail to remain true to course. The Lord calls to us; we respond and fullness of life is restored through the forgiveness of sin. Every parent knows that when you tell a child, “Santa knows when you’ve been bad or good—so be good for goodness’ sake!” that their children take it to heart and work towards obedience and “goodness”. The Lord knows if you’ve been bad or good for Goodness’ sake!
The December of our lives contains the joyous holy celebration of the birth of Christ into the world. Christmas comes at the end of the month. The birth of Christ at this time is an example of the new heaven and the new earth that is birthed as time blends with eternity once and for all.
Anticipate your death and eternal life like a child preparing for Christmas morning. You anticipate with joy the unknown. You probably have a list that you would like to receive–once you enter paradise. But realize that the heavenly kingdom contains more for you than could ever be imagined. Do you have concern about receiving a lump of coal? Sadly this awaits some—more than you think. This journey of life is not geared toward a momentary “payoff” on Christmas Morn. It—the joy—lasts forever for those called to the table of the eternal banquet in heaven. And it starts with a happy death: A death in friendship with God, a death dwelling in God’s grace.
We can pray for a happy death. The Hail Mary prayer ends with a plan for a happy death. “Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death”. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy—Jesus came to give abundant life—even in death. His Blessed Mother asks you to pray “and at the hour of our death”. It is an important moment. And like all great important moments of your life, it is worth preparing for it to avoid stress and failure.
Catechism Paragraph 1008 tells us clearly: “Death is a consequence of sin. The Church’s Magisterium, as authentic interpreter of the affirmations of Scripture and Tradition, teaches that death entered the world on account of man’s sin.[571] Even though man’s nature is mortal, God had destined him not to die. Death was therefore contrary to the plans of God the Creator and entered the world as a consequence of sin.[572] “Bodily death, from which man would have been immune had he not sinned” is thus “the last enemy” of man left to be conquered.[573]” The Good News shared in paragraph 1009 is that: “Death is transformed by Christ. Jesus, the Son of God, also himself suffered the death that is part of the human condition. Yet, despite his anguish as he faced death, he accepted it in an act of complete and free submission to his Father’s will.[574] The obedience of Jesus has transformed the curse of death into a blessing.[575]”
Death is the order of the things of this world, but it is not a part of eternal life. Fr. Philip Scott says that “there is only a thin thread that separates us and eternity.” In eternity there is no infirmity, no illness, no sadness, and no regret. All that has darkness attached is revealed by truth and the Light of Christ. Once sin is judged and forgiven it ceases to exist for those who live within the righteousness of God. Those who reject God’s righteousness — their existence is without God’s joy but full of God’s love. God does not stop loving us. Regret does not exist for their choice either; no “would a, could a, should a’s”. Through free will their rejection of God is made once and for all. The Catechism #1057 teaches that “Hell’s principal punishment consists of eternal separation from God in whom alone man can have the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs.”
In our previous sessions we talked some about what we leave behind. I wanted to share another story about a rich and generous man who was dying. Every day he prayed, “Lord, let me bring something with me to heaven when I die.” He prayed this every day of his life. As he lay on his deathbed St. Peter appeared to him and told him, “It’s generally against the rules, but the Lord is going to allow you to bring something to heaven. Just put it in this knapsack and I’ll let you into heaven with it.” The man died the following day and he showed up at the gates with his knapsack. St. Peter looked inside, wondering what the man could have chosen. He pulled out bars of solid gold. St. Peter exclaimed, “Of all the riches in the world, you brought paving stones?”
Instead of what to bring with you to heaven, how about “who”! If you have children or grandchildren living outside their faith, do you pray for them every day? Pray for them to have a happy death! Prayers make a difference! There is a tremendous flow of grace at death from the “bank” of your prayers.
Let me finish with a couple of catechisms quotes: #1014 says, “The Church encourages us to prepare ourselves for the hour of our death. In the ancient litany of the saints, for instance, she has us pray: “From everlasting death, Lord, deliver us, we pray”;[588] to ask the Mother of God to intercede for us “at the hour of our death” in the Hail Mary; and to entrust ourselves to St. Joseph, the patron of a happy death.” [It continues:] “Every action of yours, every thought, should be those of one who expects to die before the day is out. Death would have no great terrors for you if you had a quiet conscience . . . . Then why not keep clear of sin instead of running away from death? If you aren’t fit to face death today, it’s very unlikely you will be tomorrow . . . .[589]” The Catechism then quotes St. Francis of Assisi: “Praised are you, my Lord, for our sister bodily Death, from whom no living man can escape. Woe on those who will die in mortal sin! Blessed are they who will be found in your most holy will, for the second death will not harm them.[590]” Paragraph #1010 reminds us, “Because of Christ, Christian death has a positive meaning: “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”[576] “The saying is sure: if we have died with him, we will also live with him.”[577] What is essentially new about Christian death is this: through Baptism, the Christian has already “died with Christ” sacramentally, in order to live a new life; and if we die in Christ’s grace, physical death completes this “dying with Christ” and so completes our incorporation into him in his redeeming act: It is better for me to die in Christ Jesus than to reign over the ends of the earth. …”
Repeat after me, “When I die in Christ, I will live in Christ”. “When I die in Christ, I will live in Christ”. Now please stand and turn to three people and say, “When you die in Christ, you will live in Christ!” …You may be seated. If you will turn to page 4 in your handout, I wanted to share with you some of the Church Ministries available for you in our parish.
Church Ministries in Preparation for Death
Anointing of the Sick Sacrament
Available by request for seriously sick, elderly, or dying. Administered only by priests, family should attend if possible. Schedule through parish priests’ secretary. Make sure your children or other caretakers know that you want to receive this sacrament. Remember, you can receive it more than once. Plan ahead. It is not necessary to wait for the last possible moment before death. Let the office know if the patient is able to receive Holy Communion or wants to make a confession. You can also request an appointment to receive the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick before surgery.
[PLEASE NOTE: The remainder of the blog contains information not posted on the podcasts and contains local information for the St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church in Rogers AR.]
Homebound Ministry
Takes Holy Communion to those who cannot attend Mass by regular appointment. The church office will transfer your call to Gloria and she will contact M. Bray or C. Johnson who will arrange for someone to come to bring Holy Communion.
Hospital Ministry
Brings Holy Communion to Catholics in the Mercy Hospital. Be sure and request this service from the hospital chaplain. Even though we have a Catholic Hospital, the privacy rules may keep admissions from asking about your church affiliation. All medical chaplains should be able to help you.
Mass Prayer Petitions
A book is available in the Gathering Space to write prayer intentions. The book is carried to the altar at the Sunday liturgy and school Masses. You can also let the church office know when you need prayer due to serious illness and request mention at Sunday masses. You can also ask them to let Msgr. David know if you are in the hospital.
Funeral Bereavement Lay Minister
Church volunteer coordinates with the family to choose readings, songs, lectors, and answer questions about the funeral mass, a remembrance table, visitation and rosary at the church before the funeral. Minister is assigned by the priest’s secretary after initial contact by funeral home. Pre-planning is also available. Currently we have two English Bereavement Ministers and some Spanish speaking ministers. They have sample songs and readings to help you pick them out. You can preplan your funeral, but it is recommended that you include your family in final choices for the Mass. Reading the various scripture choices brings about a lot of grace. And music that is meaningful to them is important.
Funeral Choir
Church volunteers who sing during funeral services. Coordinated by the Parish Musical Director and the Bereavement Minister. The family may make other arrangements. I have been a member of the Funeral Choir for many years. It is sad for me to see so few families with children and grandchildren that are active Catholics at the funeral masses. Remind them now that the closest they can be to you after you die is in Holy Communion. Ask them to come back home to the Catholic Church. The Bereavement Minister can help them find a priest for confession. There is a tremendous amount of grace released at the death of God’s beloved children.
Funeral Dinner
Luncheon offered to the family and out of town guests following the funeral services: Coordinated with the family by the Bereavement Minister with parish staff and volunteers.
This is not for all your local friends; the staff will ask for an expected number for the meal. They can bring the food to your home or arrange for a parish facility.
Catholic Cemetery
For information or to purchase a plot contact: T DeRose, at the parish office. Cemetery gates are open from sunup to sundown. Plots for parishioners are currently $400 each. The same rate applies to all immediate family members whether Catholic or not. You are allowed to add 1 Cremains to a gravesite already in use. With an appointment, Tom will meet you at the cemetery to pick out your location. If you end up with too many plots, the church will “buy back” the unused plots at the same price as when you purchased them. For other cemeteries, check with their specific accommodations for cremains.
Mass Intentions
A gift of a mass for the repose of the soul or for any special intention may be coordinated with the front desk secretary during office hours. A stipend of $10 [amount is set by the Diocese of Little Rock] is the offering for the priest. Cards are available. The mass calendar fills up, but remember that the Mass is a moment in eternity so don’t be distressed if your mass isn’t said for several weeks. Only one person or once married couple or intention can be requested at a mass. When the mass is for the repose of a soul, a ‘cross’ is posted in the bulletin by their name.
Caretakers and Bereavement Ministry
This group meets regularly [2nd Saturday of month] to encourage, share, and reassure each other in situations of long-term care or death.
We are now going to take some quiet time to contemplate and reflect on your personal experience with death on Page 7 of your Facing Finals handout. Reflection on: Write your personal experience with death. What could have been different? What makes a “happy death”? What can I do to help others? You will have about 20 minutes to work on this. It’s ok if you don’t get finished; But if you do get finished we ask you to remain quiet until the time is complete. After we break for some refreshments we are going to form small groups for discussion. I’ll assign the groups now. You are welcome to take your refreshments to your group session. In your group, please share something from your journal or an update on your bucket list. After discussion time we will come together for a closing and prayer.
For our closing prayer please join me in saying the Prayer for a Happy Death written by Blessed John Cardinal Henry Newman followed by a Hail Mary in honor of our Lady of Guadeloupe.
In the name of the Father….
O my Lord and Savior, support me in my last hour by the strong arms of Thy sacraments and the fragrance of thy consolations. Let Thy absolving words be said over me, and the holy oil sign and seal me; and let Thine own body be my food and Thy blood my sprinkling; and let Thy Mother Mary come to me, and my angel whisper peace to me, and Thy glorious saints and my own dear patrons smile on me, that in and through them all I may die as I desire to live, in Thy Church, in Thy faith, and in Thy love. Amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace…. Amen.
