TOS010 Allowing the Lord to Bring Healing through Forgiveness ; for Audio
Truth of the Spirit episode on Inner Healing and Forgiveness. You forgive because you were forgiven. This is the basis of salvation. When you go against this it can cause all kinds of issues in your life. It steals your peace, it can destroy your faith, it can affect your body, it can cost you your very life—your eternal life. This is serious stuff! How do we learn to forgive? Nothing that has been done to you is greater than that which Jesus took to the cross and yet Jesus forgave them. In fact, that which harmed you was at the cross also. The Lord invites and empowers you to participate in his forgiveness.
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Welcome to Truth of the Spirit. I’m Patti Brunner.
Our topic this episode is “Allowing the Lord to Bring Healing through Forgiveness”.
I recently read this story about a woman who bought a parrot for a pet. All the parrot did was treat her bad. It insulted her and every time she tried to pick it up, it would peck at her arm.
One day she got fed up with the parrot and as she picked it up, it continued with the insults: “you’re ugly! I can’t stand you!” and it pecked at her arm as she carried it. She opened the freezer door and threw him in and closed the door. From inside, the parrot was still going on for about 5 seconds and then it was suddenly quiet.
She thought, “Oh no, I killed it!” She opened the door and the parrot just looked at her. She picked it up. Then the parrot said: “I’m very sorry. I apologize for my bad behavior and promise you there will be no more of that. From now on, I will be a respectful, obedient parrot.”
“Well, OK” she said. “apology accepted”. The parrot said “Thank you”. Then he said, “Can I ask you something?” She said, “Yes, What?” And the parrot looked over at the freezer and asked, “What did the Chicken do?”
We might feel like throwing someone into the freezer who has hurt us, but remember that Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5: “44a I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” NAB
Later on, when they crucified Jesus, he “said, “Father, forgive them,for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34NAB (repeat) “Father, forgive them,for they know not what they do.”
You forgive because you were forgiven. This is the basis of salvation. Let that sink in. We must forgive because we were forgiven. When you go against this base of salvation it can cause various issues in your life. It steals your peace, it can destroy your faith, it can affect your body, it can cost you your very life—your eternal life. This is serious stuff!
Jesus told a parable about a King & his servant who owed him 5,000 gold coins. –That’s over a half a million dollars in today’s money. The king, in his compassion, released him from his debt after the servant begged for mercy. When the servant left the king he summoned someone who owed him a mere 100 silver coins; about $100. Then the servant choked him and threw him into prison when he could not pay…. This was brought to the attention of his master, the King.
“32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, (the torturers) until he should pay all his debt. 35[ Then Jesus said,] So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:32,35 NAB It sounds like if you throw those who harm you into the freezer,–so to speak– you’ll take your place beside them! Forgive from your heart.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph #2843 says “It is there, in fact, “in the depths of the heart,” that everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.” “Thus the Lord’s words on forgiveness, the love that loves to the end,142 become a living reality.”
When we pray the Our Father, we say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
In explaining this prayer that the Lord taught us, in paragraph #2840 our Catechism says these strong words: “Now – and this is daunting – this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. 1 John 4:20 In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious [impermeable, totally resistant] to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.”
When un-forgiveness takes hold of a person’s life it causes many problems. The opened door through sin is widened. Even those who live by the commands are found “guilty” when there is no forgiveness.
Now it comes to this—how do we learn to forgive? The simple answer is to look to the cross. Nothing that has been done to you is greater than that which Jesus took to the cross and yet Jesus forgave them. In fact, that which harmed you was at the cross also. The Lord invites you to participate in his forgiveness. How can we forgive people who really hurt us? You are empowered to forgive because you were forgiven. The Holy Spirit gives us the grace to forgive.
Remember: [Repeat: CCC 2843] “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.”
Let’s take a closer look at the consequences of unforgiveness. It compounds the original offense. It takes a hairline fracture that could heal with time and turns it into a compound fracture where the bone is shattered beyond the surface. If it remains that way healing is impossible and infection and decay can set in and the loss of life and limb is possible.
Do the wrongs you have endured from others eat away inside you like a consuming cancer? Unforgiveness can be the poison you take thinking it will only harm others, instead it can draw the life out of you.
“Unforgiveness is actually a form of hate against another person. If a person hates somebody, it is a sign that the person is lacking love in their heart. Why? They are not firmly rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, and Christ’s love is not flowing through them. As simple as that sounds, that’s how it works.” Do you hate the person who harmed you?”
John says in his letter: 1 John chapter 3, 15b “everyone who hates his brother is a murderer and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him. 16The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” NAB
Jesus tells us if forgiveness is not given or received, our offering is not pleasing to God (cf Matthew 5, 23-24).
In Matthew chapter 6 Jesus says: 14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” NAB
That’s pretty scary! How does unforgiveness steal your peace? The peace that surpasses all understanding comes from God; when you reject forgiveness you reject God and thus you reject not only his presence but his peace. Turmoil, aggravation, anxiety each enter your thoughts and cause sleeplessness and loss of immunity. From these come openness to infirmity.
Unforgiveness is like a poison you take, thinking you are giving revenge to the person who harmed you. –That you are punishing them—tossing them in the freezer—Instead, you compound the fracture.
“Wounds can fester into infections if left untreated. That’s exactly how unforgiveness works. That infection in the spiritual realm is welcoming to unclean spirits, which aggravate the wound even more. If something isn’t done, the person becomes a very bitter and unhappy person.”
Peter says in Acts of the Apostles chapter 8 23“For I see that you are filled with bitter gall and are in the bonds of iniquity.” NAB “The reason Satan wants you to hold onto that bitterness is because it is poison to your soul. Jesus said that the devil came to steal, kill and destroy John 10:10. Satan wants to do just that to you. No wonder Satan makes unforgiveness ‘feel good’… he wants your soul to be poisoned!” “If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”1 John 4:20 NAB
“Unforgiveness is actually taking something that belongs to God, by taking matters into our own hands. God’s Word tells us clearly that we should allow God to bring His wrath upon that person, and let Him have the room to repay those who wrong us”. Paul writes in Romans chapter 12 17“Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. 18a Do not repay anyone evil for evil… 19b“Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” NAB
How does unforgiveness destroy your faith? When you refuse to forgive, you turn your back on God for allowing the injury against you. You label God as unloving—He who is love! You decide to believe this lie and turn your back on Truth. God is Truth!
The pain of your injury—whatever it may be—destroys your hope and you reject God.
For some this rejection is in little ways at first but rejection leads to rebellion and rebellion leads to loss of eternal life. Forgiveness does not minimalize the harm done to you. It does not accept the wrong as right. Forgiveness asks God into the pain and suffering caused by others. Forgiveness takes the sin done against you and lifts it to the cross where the blood of Jesus redeems it.
God loves you. God also loves the people who fail to love others and [who] sin. There is always hope for sinners to repent. But Whether or not sinners repent they are loved by God.
Failure to repent is equal to failure to forgive. The Lord Jesus has taken these sins to the cross.
Let go of unforgiveness and enjoy the peace and life that the Lord offers to you.
When you make the effort, the Lord will help you–even if, at first, you may need to pray and ask God to help you to want to forgive. Let me share with you some techniques of choosing forgiveness.
Choose a forgiveness scripture to repeat frequently, especially when unforgiveness boils up within you. Try one of these:
Luke 6:27-28 “27 This is what I say to all who will listen to me: Love your enemies, and be good to everyone who hates you. 28 Bless anyone who curses you, and pray for everyone who is cruel to you.” NAB or Romans 12:14 “Bless those who persecute [you], bless and do not curse them.” NAB Try this one from Matthew chapter 5. 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you.”
Our Catechism teaches in paragraph #2844 “Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a highpoint of Christian prayer;” Is forgiveness a highpoint of your prayer? The paragraph continues:
“only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer.
“Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin. The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus. Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another.”
So try this: Pray for the person you need to forgive. Work at praying for them without judgment. If you can do that you can be sure you have forgiven them. If you just can’t do this then pray to God to give you the desire to pray for the person you need to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of the will. It does not say what the other person did is ok; instead it releases the grace for healing for what the other person did.
Fr. Robert DeGrandis is famous for giving us a forgiveness prayer that helps us to bring unforgiveness to the surface. You can access it online. Different times when I prayed this forgiveness prayer the same name would keep coming up time after time until the root was dug out. After about 10 years I found out that it was something the other person had no recollect of it ever happening. Over time, the Lord helped me overcome the hurtful root and thus forgiveness was complete. It came forth when I had compassion for this person and prayed for her.
No one is perfect except Christ. All have weaknesses that cause others pain. Your own weaknesses have caused pain in your family that surfaces and you do not understand because the pain inflicted was totally unintentional. So too, many of the ones who have caused you pain are totally unaware of the effect certain actions have made on your life. As you realize the loop of hurt, and forgive, you are healed. As you ask for forgiveness you and they are healed.
Forgiveness does not require the other person to say they are sorry. Forgiveness does not require the other person to admit they wronged you. Forgiveness does not require you to contact the person who harmed you. Forgiveness from the heart (Matthew 18,35 ) is a decision and not a feeling, It is a decision that generally benefits more the one who gives it, than the one who receives it. When you forgive it doesn’t mean that we think “what they did is right” or should be repeated but that we want to ‘let it go’.
What helps us the most to forgive from the heart, is to remember that Jesus forgave the one who offended us; Jesus did it on the cross. Remember that Jesus forgave the one who offended us!
I want to tell you a few famous stories about forgiveness. Remember the story on forgiveness that Jesus told? The Prodigal Son? I love Jesus’ story of the Prodigal Son. I love to picture our heavenly Father, constantly looking down the road, waiting for us to return to him, waiting to hold us in his arms again and show us how much he loves us and how much he missed us.
When we finally decide to return, He doesn’t stand on the porch and chew us out for being gone so long. And he doesn’t chew us out for all the mistakes and wrong things we have done. He forgives us, and rejoices that we have come home. He is so happy he will throw a party to share that happiness!
But the ones who won’t forgive are like the ones who don’t repent. They don’t come home and are missing out on the joy of the Father’s love. The Father is still waiting for them. The Father still loves them, but they refuse to accept it.
In Christ’s story of the Prodigal Son the father stood ready to let the son know he was forgiven, but the son didn’t know this–until he returned to the Father. Forgiveness is a path to wholeness.
Judgment and criticism becomes a curse against your children. A father must look with compassion at the trespasses of his children and truly forgive them with love in his heart. The desire for perfection can block the truth. A mother, who offers sacrifice for her children, must not hold the children accountable when the sacrifice is not appreciated by the child. This too is judgment. Forgiveness is in order.
The Sacrifice of the cross was not in judgment but in mercy and love to remove judgment. So, too, forgiveness of a father for his child must be. The prodigal son’s father celebrated his son’s return and did not hold him bound in judgment. Do not confuse discipline with judgment. The first, discipline, is a duty, the second, judgment, is reserved only for the Lord.
St. Maria Goretti’s greatest witness is forgiveness; St. Maria Goretti was 11 years old when she was fatally stabbed 14 times resisting rape by a neighbor. After being found bleeding to death, she was rushed to the hospital, where she forgave her attacker saying: “Yes, for the love of Jesus, I forgive him … and I want him to be with me in paradise.”
Ephesians chapter 4:26-27 tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger or give the devil any such foothold or opportunity. Remember that the devil must have a foothold before he can get a stronghold.
“Pope Saint John Paul II decided to forgive his would-be assassin while he was in the ambulance on his way to the hospital– moments after being shot in St. Peter’s Square” and “publicly forgave him four days later.” After he recovered he visited his shooter in prison two years later and forgave him face to face.
When I was first Baptized in the Spirit; quite some years ago, the Lord called me to pray at the bedside of a few people who were dying, and to ask them to forgive people who had hurt them. I also got their loved ones to ask for and give forgiveness. This released tremendous grace, healing and supernatural peace.
Now, the best way I know to begin healing, especially spiritual healing for Catholics, is in the confessional! The Sacrament of Reconciliation is called the Sacrament of healing for a reason—and it is all about forgiveness. Jesus wants all of us to come back to him and ask forgiveness. The very first teaching that Jesus did in his public ministry was to tell the people to repent.
And one of the last things he did was to give us the tools of forgiveness. It was the first time he appeared to the disciples after his resurrection—after redemption of sin was complete. In the Gospel of John 20:22-23 Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit!”
His next instruction was about forgiving people. “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”
Ask God to breathe the Holy Spirit on you so you can forgive those who’ve hurt you.
Jesus has made it so simple for us. He gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation so we can make up with him after we have rejected him and his goodness. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is always ready to restore you.
Some people think they have private sin that hurts no one else, but when we come to understand the Body of Christ, we begin to understand how our sin affects others and how others’ sin affects us.
Sin is the source of all infirmity of the world. Our personal sin affects us and others. Our infirmity can be caused by the sin of others.
Sin damages the body of Christ. Mortal sin is like a tourniquet that prevents life giving grace from penetrating the damaged area, grace that could restore it to health. How much more difficult it is for healing to take place.
Just as when I have a splinter in my finger–we’ll call that a venial splinter–the pain and infection can affect other parts of the body. And a fractured leg, well now, that’s a bit bigger problem to the body isn’t it! Each man’s sin affects the other as we all make up the body of Christ. It doesn’t matter if it’s a “splinter in a finger” or a “broken leg”. The whole is affected.
When you go to God the Father with repentance in your heart, He will repair your brokenness, just as a carpenter repairs a broken or wobbly chair.
If you are having trouble with forgiving someone—take it to confession.
God’s grace heals all wounds; His grace heals all damages of the world. That is why He sent His son, Jesus, that he might bring healing and conquer death and pain and destruction. Jesus did it through his sacrifice and his forgiveness.
Paul writes in 2nd Corinthians, chapter 5, “18 And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 namely, God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.20 So we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” NAB
I want you to take time right now to think of those people in your life who have hurt you; it could be a parent, a teacher, a spouse or even a priest, anyone that has hurt you even in your childhood.
Now: chose to forgive them.
This might even be yourself that you need to forgive. But remember- forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice and not a feeling –therefore there might still be some pain remaining – But remember also – that forgiveness is the beginning of the healing process and will open your heart to receiving the fullness of the Holy Spirit.
So, right now I want you to just close your eyes—unless you are driving– and to take a minute to think of that person or persons that have hurt you the most -and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Just do this silently in your heart. If you can’t remember anyone, just forgive all those who have hurt you in the past, even those you cannot presently recall.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians ch.2 10“But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ” NAB
‘The forgiveness given to those who have harmed you or those you love signifies the kingdom’s power on earth in the heart of man.
When true love for others is in the heart one can forgo the “justification” of judgment against the actions of others and thus release to God all judgment, for Jesus shall come to judge the living and the dead [including those who are dead through sin].
As you release your judgment against others you find joy and peace. Not as the world would claim it but as the Spirit gives it : in truth, true joy; true peace.’
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It overcomes pain and allows healings to take place: comforted by peace, refreshed by joy, strengthened by grace, loved by Love. And the broken is mended and the empty are filled and you are made whole. Forgiveness can heal body and soul.
Amen!
You’ve been listening to Truth of the Spirit with Patti Brunner. I invite you to subscribe–its free!– and come back for more. With the Holy Spirit there is always more!
You can listen to this episode on podcast TS010 or YouTube TOS010.
