Part 2 of the Discovering Life in the Spirit series with Patti Brunner. When we allow the grace of the Holy Spirit to penetrate our hearts, God’s grace brings us a reorientation of our whole life toward God and thus eternal happiness. At the same time it causes the desire and resolution to change our life with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. It brings healing and a turning away from evil. Patti Brunner also shares part of her own conversion journey witness. For Blog with study questions of this episode or video and audio links please continue reading below.
In the Gospel of John 16 verse 13, Jesus told us that when the Spirit of truth comes “he will guide you to all truth.” As the Holy Spirit come into our hearts our lives are transformed by truth. In the previous episode in this series we shared that the starting place is to begin to realize that God loves you and as proof of that love the Father sent his Son to die on the cross to redeem you while you were still sinners so that the Spirit to spirit connection with God could be reestablished. Today our topic is the conversion of heart that happens when the Holy Spirit is welcomed into your heart.
Welcome to Truth of the Spirit. I’m Patti Brunner. You are listening to Truth of the Spirit. This is part 2 of the Discovering Life in the Spirit series: Conversion of Heart. After we talk about it a bit, I will share part of my own conversion journey.
Let me set the stage of why we need conversion. Darkness is defined as the absence of light. You may be in a dark place right now—and you are reaching out to find God’s grasp to pull you out of the mire. Interestingly enough, that is what God has done for all of mankind. This is a good place to grab ahold of God’s hand.
When man sins and turns away from God it’s like entering a bottomless swamp. Each step away from God towards sin leads you deeper into the mire. “Why would anyone make such a choice?” you might ask. Sin is a slippery slope. Have you ever been traveling at twilight and failed to turn on your headlights? Your eyes get accustomed to the ensuing darkness and you, at first, are not aware. Cars give us an option of an automatic setting for the headlights to come on when darkness approaches.
The Holy Spirit gave its Church ways for its body to keep the automatic switch on. Canon law gives duties of Christians to attend Mass each Sunday, to receive Holy Communion during the Easter Season, to receive reconciliation at least once a year if there is serious sin. It also tells the Church to be holy. I would say that striving to be holy certainly would protect us from darkness.
The issue with twilight time is the desires of our hearts sometimes choose darkness. The scripture in the Gospel of John Chapter 3 points out who loves darkness: Jesus said, “19 And this is the verdict that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. 21 But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.” NAB
Often those who love darkness affect our lives and bring us into the darkness to dwell. If we have never lived in the light, when it shines upon us we are—at first—repelled because the light hurts our eyes because we are accustomed to darkness. We avoid the light to avoid any condemnation for our sin. We seek joy and fulfillment but we seek it in pleasure and selfishness which cannot give lasting joy.
And then, suddenly, the scripture tells us, suddenly it is the dawn! And with light there can be no darkness and we are set free. I’ve heard countless conversion stories. They follow this theme: I was, He did, I am. When we allow God to touch our hearts our eyes are opened to a whole new world.
St. Paul persecuted Christians in the early days of the Church. When Christ appeared to St. Paul on the road to Damascus, his vision of Christ blinded him for three days. Then, according to Acts Chapter 9, the Christian Ananias laid his hands on him and said, “Regain your sight and be filled with the holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight. He got up and was baptized.” 20 and he began at once to proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God. All who heard him were astounded and said, “Is not this the man who came here expressly to take Christians back to the chief priests in chains?” Paul had thought he was following God’s will as he persecuted the Christians. Jesus appeared to him to tell him the truth. And the truth of the Spirit not only set him free but gave him a conversion of heart.
How is this conversion of heart possible? There are actually ways to welcome God into our hearts. We are created by God to be a unique person. To prove to us that we are such a unique creation God gave each of us fingerprints and DNA that is unique only to us. And we can respond to God in a unique way or we can seek him the ways countless others have done.
The Catechism gives several ideas of how to welcome conversion into our hearts. Paragraph #1229 of the Catechism says, “From the time of the apostles, becoming a Christian has been accomplished by a journey and initiation in several stages. This journey can be covered rapidly or slowly, but certain essential elements will always have to be present: proclamation of the Word, acceptance of the Gospel entailing conversion, profession of faith, Baptism itself, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, and admission to Eucharistic communion.”
“Rapidly or slowly”—God constantly sends people and circumstances into our lives to reveal his love. And when we seek Him with all our hearts He lets us find Him. It is difficult for those with hardened hearts yet the need and longing for God often is the softening needed. Jesus says to all those who are weary “come and I will give you rest”. The weary seek God. They have hope for rescue. Actually, it is the lukewarm heart that does not believe it needs anything that stays mired in the swamp. The Mercy of God is rejected by the lukewarm heart. The Lord keeps sending the Truth—only in truth can the lukewarm be set free. Like the prodigal son’s Father God waits for us to acknowledge truth and return to him.
Stories of conversion might call us to ponder—which came first—the chicken or the egg? That is, does my conversion come because God touched my heart and lifted me from darkness or did my decision to be lifted from darkness allow me to find God? The answer to this question is ‘Yes’, both.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church Paragraph 1989 proclaims: “The first work of the grace of the Holy Spirit is conversion, effecting justification in accordance with Jesus’ proclamation at the beginning of the Gospel: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Moved by grace, man turns toward God and away from sin, thus accepting forgiveness and righteousness from on high. “Justification is not only the remission of sins, but also the sanctification and renewal of the interior man.”39 (1427)
Paragraph #1430 says, “Jesus’ call to conversion and penance, like that of the prophets before him, does not aim first at outward works, “sackcloth and ashes,” fasting and mortification, but at the conversion of the heart, interior conversion. Without this,[the Catechism says] such penances remain sterile and false; however, interior conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures and works of penance.23”
You cannot teach conversion of heart but it comes by allowing his Grace to come in. Only Grace can affect the change.
Conversion of heart brings healing to the heart. One of my friends, Jim, was abused by his father and was left emotionally scarred. His wife prayed for his conversion for years and years and hoped for him to be baptized. Jim was much more interested in the Arkansas Razorback football team than he was in God or belonging to a church. One day Jim was in his truck and the voice of God spoke to him—clear as a bell! Since then, not only has Jim been baptized, he proclaims with his life that Jesus is Lord and shares his testimony in public. Through his conversion journey, the Lord has brought him emotional healing and he knows that God is a loving father.
When man receives the grace of salvation time stands still and eternity enters the soul. The life that was meant to be is thus entered and the life to be lived in abundance is begun. Baptism thus brings life, eternity with God, and the grace to fulfill his plan.’
Another friend of mine, Ken, was unchurched but joined the Catholic Church after he married a Catholic. Years later, one day as he drove to work a song came into his mind. “God gives his gifts to me, So I can share them with my family. Together we can serve our community, because only in Christ can there be unity.” Later, when he got home, he asked his wife, “Where did I hear this song from?” She couldn’t remember ever hearing it ever before, and since neither could he, he immediately thought, “Boy am I clever!” Shortly after that song in his heart, there was a “Life in the Spirit” advertised in the Church announcements. Ken had never heard of it before. However, he immediately said, “I have to go to that” – and, once again, Ken didn’t know why. But that “why” was revealed pretty quickly. Simply stated, those ‘Life in the Spirit’ sessions opened his eyes. He finally understood what he was singing about. Now he realizes, “Oh, that wasn’t me.” He says it’s also kind of funny, because when “he” came up with those lyrics, he had no idea that the “gifts” the song was referring to were gifts of the Spirit. When the bell went off he proclaimed “Oh, that’s what the gifts from God are. Whoa, that’s bigger than I thought.”
As he came to understand these gifts of the Spirit, Ken could see how they were around him every day, many times in small ways and honestly, probably most of the time he overlooked them. With his new awareness, Ken says that he was filled with the love of the Holy Spirit during the sessions of Life in the Spirit. After his first healing prayer session, he came away feeling energized, refreshed, charged; Ken knew that there was something there and he wanted more. He could feel the power of the Holy Spirit. So after the next meeting, He didn’t hesitate to come back up for more prayer. This time, this second time was different however. The intensity started out at the same high level as the previous session, but then it just EXPLODED! Those who were there can attest that the volume of the prayer team rose to such a booming, it resonated throughout the whole building. Ken could feel the raw energy of the Lord surging through him; he felt as if he was being lifted off the ground and shooting to the ceiling. Now, just a few years later, Ken is completing the diaconate program and continues evangelizing the truth about the Holy Spirit and the Eucharist.
Romans 12: 2 says, “Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Many famous evangelists have told their story of conversion. They were blind and now they see. They were great sinners and now are great men of God. Although the Conversion of Paul makes a great story there are many other conversion stories in the scripture that are not quite so bold. What about Andrew, the first evangelist? What caused a simple fisherman to turn his life over to Jesus? He heard the truth. What caused Mary of Magdalene to conversion and receive the honor of being among the first to see the risen Lord? She was in desperate need of healing. After Jesus cast the devils out of her He filled her with love and healing. He does the same for all who approach him in Faith. What about the woman at the well? Jesus touched her life with truth and then revealed to her that He was the Messiah! The first public proclamation!
When my husband Rick approached Jesus for more, the Lord cast from him the demon and infirmity of depression; then, Jesus set upon the task of healing Rick’s wounded heart by bringing up repentance. For some people repentance seems to be first. Each person is unique and the Lord keeps no set time schedules for conversion.
How do we accept grace? Dear listeners, recognizing the need for grace is half the battle. In this day of independence and self-sufficiency, many forget how much they need grace until a situation gets so out of everyone’s earthly control that they turn towards God. And as they seek him they will find him. God will let them find him.
But to live the kingdom life, to have the heart and mind of Jesus, each day you must allow his grace to penetrate. The Lord does not force his grace but he generously pours it out daily on his people. Those who have hardened their hearts to God by selfishness and sin do not receive a full measure. It’s like it bounces off. Our God is faithful; He does not step away from us.
The Lord encourages his children to become aware of their sinfulness and to repent. Repentance, true repentance, causes the scales to fall from the eyes. Repentance and reconciliation washes away the barriers that have kept his Love from being deeply rooted in hearts. Asking for grace–think of asking for Love, for God’s love–You can be positive of receiving his Love, thus you can be positive of receiving his Grace. It is always there waiting for you, and when you ask for it, you have opened your arms to receive it. Some times when you need it the most you ask with fisted hands and clenched teeth-clenched tight due to the pain caused by the failings of others—others that should have loved you as God does—and the failings due to the effect of sin upon your life. These are the times the Lord longs for you to know his grace—to know his love—for then his peace will come over you and you will know that he is with you.
Allowing the flow is the key. A certain amount of his sovereign grace is our right as his children through Baptism. That grace flows continually—even though you are not aware of it—unless you completely reject it and God. For the flow of grace to immerse you fully, you must step forward into the stream, into the river, and become one with the fountain that bubbles and pours out upon the world. It is your response, your request that magnifies the grace to you in good times as well as bad.
My own conversion of heart was a journey of seeking the Lord for more. I didn’t know what I was missing; I didn’t even know that there was more! But a couple of people I knew constantly encouraged me in certain directions, the first didn’t give up in trying to get my husband and I to attend the spiritual retreat of Marriage Encounter. That led me to the second person who constantly encouraged us to attend the spiritual retreat of Cursillo. It was there that a spiritual experience removed the blindness of my heart and I felt a divine hug and the love of God.
My heart is like the story of the egg and the bright light. What seems whole and perfect is seen differently when held before the light of Christ—as truth reveals those areas that need to change to be pleasing to God. An egg held before a bright light reveals tiny cracks not visible before. Generally, as Christ comes into your heart his light does not blind but gently reveals those areas that need to be improved or set aside. When that layer is done, the Lord turns the brightness up to find the next repairs needed. Isaiah 42:3 and Matthew 12:20 both say, “A bruised reed he will not break! A smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory.”
Recognizing that all sin was taken to the cross and admitting that my sins—that I once thought of as inconsequential—caused Christ to suffer has caused me to repent of my past sins and to constantly try to obey his commands. When I fail, I more quickly come to him for forgiveness in the confessional.
It makes sense that conversion of heart brought me to repentance. One time, much later, I was doing the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius and the meditation took me to the way of the Cross. At some point I recognized my own sin upon the cross and how Jesus suffered for my sin. It doesn’t sound like much but as a gift to me, the Lord allowed me for a brief moment to feel the pain my sin caused him. If it had lasted more than that brief moment it would have destroyed me. God, in his gentleness, allowed me only a glimpse. The sorrow for it vividly continues even today and it has been 10 or 15 years since that moment.
After my own surrender to God’s love I was on fire to read the Bible. The Lord sent others to encourage me and I began to understand my experiences as the conversion of heart and Baptism of the Spirit. I began to study everything I could get my hands on about the Holy Spirit and the gifts of charisms. The Lord continued to place many mentors in my path who were also on fire with the love of the Holy Spirit. That’s when I began to see that there’s more, with the Holy Spirit there’s always more!
Let me tell you a little more about my conversion of heart journey. The words of scripture and the mentoring by those who already knew the Holy Spirit gave me a firm foundation for the evangelization the Lord quickly called me to after about a year. I was proof of the statement “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.” The power of God in your life continues to convert your heart more and more especially toward trusting him and in healing. I have learned there is always more when it comes to the Lord.
Another conversion of heart that I had was to recognize that I am not called to be self-sufficient. God calls us to communion with him and to depend on Him and trust Him. One time the Lord asked me to change my life for him; it was not to add a ministry but rather to let go of the ministries I was already involved in. I had been so willing to serve the Lord that I was trying to do everything. I think I was involved in 9 separate ministries. After carefully discerning that it was indeed the Lord asking me to lay them aside for a year, I let go. I realized that these functions had become who I was. I couldn’t understand why the Lord had done this. Then, a little while later, a family member went through a crisis that –if I had been busy, busy, busy—I could easily have missed. I still had a longing to serve others, but through the experience of obedience my heart began to understand that my first priority of service was unto the Lord. The parable in Matthew 25 about the 10 virgins with the oil lamps began to make sense. True conversion of heart places God above all things. The Lord becomes the beginning and end of each day. When the year of silence was almost complete I asked the Lord if I could return to work with the teenagers in my parish and to my surprise he sent me instead to minister at the juvenile detention center for three years! Since that time I have learned to allow the Lord to choose my ministry activities and He has directed extraordinary ways to serve him, including hosting a radio show in my parish. From the beginning the Lord gave me many blessings and natural abilities to reason and to do things that require intelligence. The one problem with being able to do things yourself is that you fail to rely on God. So what did the Lord do? He told me to set up a website to post information about the radio show I was doing with my pastor, Living Seasons of Change. No matter how much I read and researched, the language seemed to be written in Greek to me. I could simply not comprehend it. This was many years ago [2006] before there was an app or a book of “Creating Websites for Dummies”. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t do it. I finally told the Lord, rather matter-of-factly, if You want a website—You are going to have to do it! The next day at work I mentioned to a co-worker, a fellow Catholic, that I was really struggling over setting up a website. She replied, “My husband used to do that for a living. He can do it for you!” And he did. God took care of it. You see, once I realized that my God is able to do everything and more, my heart changed. I trust Him in a new way. He provides for all my needs! And if He asks me to do something I know that he will give the grace for it to happen. He has provided many people and circumstances to help me to grow closer to Him and to share his ways with others. He then called us to provide a ministry house for small group study for our parish especially for Life in the Spirit Seminars, and other evangelization activities that were initially out of my comfort zone. These Truth of the Spirit broadcasts and podcasts are now part of that list.
I have noticed something else when I have struggled with a particular sin. As I ask the Lord’s help He will place someone in my path that struggles with the same sin so that I can see the consequence of that sin upon others where my own eye has been blind. Meeting consequences face to face is a strong remedy for overcoming particularsins. What a loving God we have! The Lord continues with periodic conversions toward healing—my own and the charism for healing for others.
One of the greatest conversion moments of my life was a visitation to heaven three days after my Baptism of the Holy Spirit, where I stood in the presence of Jesus in heaven. The next day after I experienced heaven, I poured over scripture looking for the words to explain it. There are no words to describe it fully. The closest thing I found was the parable of the mustard seed where Jesus says, “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that a person took and sowed in a field. It is the smallest of all the seeds, yet when full-grown it is the largest of plants. It becomes a large bush, and the ‘birds of the sky come and dwell in its branches.’” You see, everything we know about heaven is like the mustard seed. But it is in truth more like the large bush that comes forth from it. We cannot know the bush by looking at the seed. Only in the fullness of time will we experience it. Something else about the bush—it produces branches for others to come and gather its fruit of seed! Fr. Phillip Scott called my heaven visitation experience “a flight of the Spirit” similar to his own experiences. My “flight to heaven” conquered the fear of death not only for myself but of others who follow the Lord and also helped me realize that I wanted to do everything I can to help people turn to the Lord. The joy of heaven is incredible!
I have been taught by the Lord the true things of value in this world. It is not fame, success, or fortune as the world describes it. It is following the will of the Lord and spending your life in obedience as his adopted child, a calling to a royal priesthood and prophet and king. The more you share the more you are given, pressed down, poured out. Conversion of heart was the start of something amazing for me as I discovered the gifts of the Spirit. I’ll share more about them next time.
For your homework, read Acts of the Apostles Chapter 9. For those of you grouping together to watch this episode, I encourage your leaders to offer individual prayer for you at the end of your session. Check out PatriarchMinistries.com/155 for small group discussion questions and to read the blog of this episode.
This is Patti Brunner, and you’ve been listening to Truth of the Spirit. Join me on my next podcast where I will share my personal discovery of the Gifts of the Spirit and the outpouring of God’s grace, known as Baptism of the Holy Spirit. And come back for more; with the Holy Spirit there’s always more!
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth Your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.
O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.
Amen.
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Questions for Session #2 of Discovering Life in the Spirit
Conversion of Heart
- If new members in your group, introduce each other.
- What did you hear in the talk that impressed you the most?
- What “connects” you in your relationship with God? Who are the people or the circumstances that bring God’s grace into your life now?
- Who in your family needs to receive God’s gift of salvation or the gift of “more”?
- What is your conversion story?
- What did you discover in the homework readings from Session 1? [Chapter 2 of the Acts of the Apostles and 1st Corinthians chapters 12-14]
Homework: Read Acts of the Apostles Chapter 9 (Saul/Paul’s Conversion story), Acts 19:1-7 and Romans 8:3-17
